One of the hard times

After you know a friend for so long, there comes a time when the hardest obstacle comes your way.....a death in your friend's family. No matter how close your friend is to that family member, it's still dramatizing and causes all kinds of crazy thoughts to their mind. It causes a frenzy of emotions that just might explode if you ask about it.

This past summer, my friend's grandmother died and without it being tough enough that it was her grandmother, she was diagnosed with cancer. After having a close relative of my own die from cancer when I was little, I was a little hesitant to converse with her about it. The reason that it was so hard for me was because it made all these memories rush back to my mind.
I'd remember visits to the hospital where everyone just stood around this white room while my aunt looked too weak to even talk to us at first. Later on as she was still getting chemotherapy, I noticed she didn't have as much hair as she used to, but I was little and didn't really know what was happening. I just got excited that we went to visit her. As time went on, the visits were harder because for some reason my aunt couldn't even communicate with us anymore. She spoke some kind of other language or merely jibberish, we weren't sure. Then there was the last visit, my aunt still seemed really weak. That night, she had died in her sleep. I had asked my mother why the visits stopped, she merely said she went to a better place, in heaven.

I simply didn't want to be reminded of all the pain and suffering that she endured. It was as if I saw her wasting away in front of me, and I didn't even know it. Well my friend and I had a hard time talking about it because at times, I would avoid her so that it wouldn't be brought up. I have a hard time talking about death because it's really something that I don't like to think about. After a couple days, we were finally able to talk, but it was so hard that we were just both crying to each other over the phone. I had to try and explain to her that I did know how she felt, but I didn't want to relive it. After they found that her grandmother had cancer, she didn't want to have chemotherapy. My friend felt that she was basically giving up, but I feel that it just gives a false hope that everything will be better, when in reality, it makes things worse. I tried to explain to her that sometimes getting chemotherapy is really a false hope because there is so little chance that things will get better. I tried to tell her that I'm sure she didn't want to make everyone suffer watching her in pain. I told her that she didn't want to have her last memories of her grandmother in the hospital because that is what she would remember from being in there so long getting treatment.

It's really hard to talk about things like that, but once they come out, you tend to feel better. After that night, she was more understanding of my reluctancy to talk because I tend to think I can handle it all myself. Since then we have gotten closer, and talk more about the things that bother us. I was glad that I could try and comfort her, but was a little upset with myself that I didn't do it sooner. But we live and learn, and that's what we're here to do.